Follow through

Maybe this is just another joke the Big Guy up there feels like throwing at us.

I believe that 5 years ago, this day, somebody was here wondering about the same things I am wondering now. And that worries me. This is a no holds barred post. I don't really do apology, so if you can't take the heat, leave. And don't come back.

Here we go.

I am a hypocrite. And I am not good with truths. So I pretend. But every man has his limit, and yours truly has just busted his limit. I am in no position to say anything worth saying, or do anything worth doing. I am, however, in a position to see the mother of all heartbreaks - the block disintegrating.

There is nobody to blame but ourselves. We fail to see pass through our own selfish gains. And that's human nature too, so we kindda inherited it from our forefathers. Not your fault exactly, when you conveniently advocate disintegration, consciously or otherwise.

And when the block has some events on, most of us convenietly forget or purposely disappear. The only chance to give the block a chance, and many would rather lock themselves in their rooms. And with good reasons too, or so they say.

Tutorials, homeworks, assignments. Of course I know, I too have all that, and then some more. I am not a saint, to advocate something I don't believe in. I always believe in putting studies on top of my priority list. And tonight, instead of studying for the test I'm having, I am sitting here crafting this out. Oh, bewildered and I am asking myself why am I doing this?

Good intentions, I dare say. Maybe you have not found it, or maybe you will never have the privillege to find it. That desire to find something that you have quietly conceded. That naggy feeling of wanting to see the block the way it used to be. Oh, you juniors have no idea what I'm saying. You juniors are more preoccupied with that lovey-dovey and hanky-panky. And you seniors are too busy trying to be busy.

And I often tell this to people I know, that if I am 100 years back, with a gun in my hands, most C-towners would have been shot dead by me for inherently blanketed the block with aura of callous indifference. And it saddens me to sit here, forcing all that down my throat. And if I had had my way 3 months ago, there would be a mass grave just behind the block.

And I wonder, often, what has happened. There is so much animosity. And peope who used to care turning their backs on things they used to believe so much. And I wonder, often, what could have been done differently to change the situation we are all facing now.

I never knew how much Block C means to me until I see the state of the block today. The block has been disappointed by the very people who encapsulate the spirit of Block C. And for this, I have my hands up high into the sky.

If there is one thing worth doing now, it's to stop trying to run away. 'Cause for what it's worth, we are all one family. Family sticks together.

And I invite you to laugh with me, at this joke the Big Guy up there is throwing at us. Am I so obvious to preach it? Just don't be so off.